Communication helps solve intimacy woes
I’ve always admired Carrie Bradshaw since I first saw her portrayed by Sarah Jessica Parker. Writing was one of my first passions growing up. Similar to Bradshaw’s column in “Sex and the City,” this column, which will appear several times this semester, will focus on college life, sex, love and relationships.
I’m a 27-year-old married man about to celebrate my two-year wedding anniversary with my husband. We will celebrate our 10-year anniversary later in the summer.
First of all, I’m a very sexual being. I don’t think I ever matured from being a horny little teenager. My husband, on the other hand, is old-fashioned and only likes to have sex sporadically. I see it as a great stress-reliever and something to help pass the time.
When we first got together, we waited about three months and then had sex. From then on in, we were intimate every day for about two years — we couldn’t get enough of each other.
We moved into our first apartment in 2011, where I imagined we’d be able to continue the passion. It didn’t happen. We hit a major dry spell, one that lasted about two years. We had sex every now and then, but in those two years combined, I probably could have counted them on both of my hands. I hated it. I would try to bring it up with him and it would always lead to an argument because I wasn’t sure how to ask him to have sex with me without it coming off weird.
I couldn’t help but wonder: How do you fix something that you never thought would break? Communication was the solution. We both sat down and expressed how we felt and were honest with each other. Next to compatibility, communication is vital in a relationship.
According to Elite Daily, it’s common for couples to go weeks without having sex. It is completely normal, but if you feel it’s lasting way longer than it needs to, it’s time to do something to spice things up. Make sure not to force intimacy, but to feel and exude your sexiness and speak up to your partner.
Looking back at it now, I realize it would have been more beneficial to go to couples counseling. The counseling center at Del Mar even provides couples counseling sessions as long as one of the people is a student.
I’m not saying our sex life is what it used to be back in ’09, but we are both satisfied. And we’ve learned that better communication makes everything better.