As we step into 2025, I know I’m not alone in being single. For some, it’s a conscious decision – a time to focus on personal growth, education, or career. For others, it’s a consequence of a painful breakup, leading to a mixture of loneliness, random encounters, or simply trying to move on. For me, it all started with a simple message.
Online dating: A new world of possibilities
Dating apps aren’t for everyone. Some use them because they don’t have the time or energy to meet new people in their everyday lives. Others are curious, wanting to find someone outside their usual social circle. For those of us seeking something new, meeting someone who isn’t tied to your past can feel like stepping into a fresh, exciting experience. It’s a clean slate – no baggage, no history – just the thrill of getting to know someone from scratch.
That’s how I felt when I met John. We’ll call him John for privacy’s sake. He wasn’t from my town, and he wasn’t like anyone I’ve met before. His profile was simple; five photos, each taken from different angles, nothing raunchy or inappropriate. No half-naked bathroom selfies or photos with exes with an emoji covering their face. He seemed like a decent guy. His profile stated he was “single” and “looking for something serious” – exactly what I was looking for.
Instantly we both liked each other’s profile, and the conversation started to flow. For a solid month, we talked consistently – fun, respectful, and honest. This wasn’t your typical, “hit-it and quit-it” interaction; there was a real connection forming. Eventually, he suggested we exchange numbers. Normally I’m hesitant to share my number that early, but with John, I felt comfortable. And so, we continued talking, with no signs of the usual dating app awkwardness.
As we spoke more, I began to feel a growing sense of trust with this stranger. It was a bit risky, sure, but when you connect with someone, it doesn’t always feel dangerous. Eventually, we agreed to meet. In person. The excitement of meeting someone new was palpable. Being cautious, I shared my plans with close friends and family, just in case.
The relationship: The honeymoon phase dies with red flags
The first two months were great. We hit it off, laughed a lot, had real conversations. He listened to me and would respond! Something I’d never had. Then, the red flags started to show.
The first sign came when John began to gaslight me. For those who don’t know, gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where someone makes another person doubt their own perception, memory, or reality. Then one of his close relatives mentioned that he can “be a handful,” which increased my uneasiness.
By the second month, I made the decision to end things. I knew it was better to walk away now before things got worse. Meeting at a public location, John seemed to agree and stated “I’ll respect your decision,” and we went our separate ways.
Harassment: The nightmare that followed
After we broke up, John didn’t message me for weeks. I was OK with this. Then out of the blue the harassment began. Text messages started flooding in, back-to-back, borderline threatening, and frightening. It wasn’t just a simple, “I’m sorry” or “Let’s be friends” – they were ominous, like there was a real threat behind them. So, I did what anyone else would do – I blocked him.
But this didn’t stop him from reaching out to me. He used an app that can mimick random numbers and began using multiple contacts to reach out to me. At first, they were empty threats. I ignored them at first, but things started escalating when he threatened my life and exposing my personal information to the public, without my consent. I started keeping track of every single message, saving every screenshot, and started reaching out to the authorities. It wasn’t easy. I was terrified. My grades began to reflect my stress, and my memory was occupied with the possibility he could be lurking around every corner. I knew I had to do something. After multiple reports made to the Corpus Christi Police Department, the police finally took action. My case was handed over to the District Attorney’s office and they started to build a case against him.
The legal process and the importance of speaking up
The day I went to court, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I had already been through so much, and I was exhausted mentally and physically. Thankfully, John didn’t show up to the hearing, and my protective order was granted. The judges’ words will forever stay with me when she waved the protective order across her desk like a flag in the wind and said, “This protective order is just paper. It won’t protect you. You have to protect yourself.” She was right. The piece of paper doesn’t hold majestic protection powers, but it was a necessary step. It was something I could use to legally defend myself if things escalate further.
What was even more eye-opening was learning how many other women had experienced similar situations. As I became more vocal about my situation, someone knew someone or/and other women came forward, sharing their stories of harassment, stalking and abuse with me. In fact, one story that particularly hit me hard was about a 15-year-old girl who was murdered on her front lawn by an abusive ex. Her story gave me the strength to press charges.
For women who don’t have a voice
This experience changed my life. It opened my eyes to the dangers that many women face when they try to move on from toxic relationships. It’s not just about protecting yourself – it’s about standing up for those who can’t. Women who have been silenced, who have suffered abuse, who are too scared to speak out.
I decided to press charges not just for me, but for the women who can’t. It wasn’t an easy choice, but if was the right one.
If you’re reading this, and you’re in a similar situation, know this: you’re not alone. I get it. The fear, the uncertainty, the guilt. But you can speak up. You can protect yourself. And if you can’t do it for yourself, do it for the women who can’t. Your voice matters.
I am thankful that my case was taken seriously by law enforcement, and I hope that by sharing my story, others will feel empowered to do the same. In the end, this experience was a reminder that while there are people out there who can be cruel, there are also systems in place to help. If you ever find yourself in a situation like mine, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. It could make all the difference.
