This couple I work with, “Ken” and “Abby,” have been together for about a year. Recently, Abby told me she’s getting bored with Ken because she feels stuck in a loop.
Every night they eat out at a fast food restaurant and every weekend they hang out with the same group of friends. She’s afraid to tell Ken because she thinks he might get offended that she’s becoming tired of their routine.
When they first started going out, Ken would take her different places for dates. Abby thinks he’s just become comfortable since they’ve been together for a while. She has suggested hanging out with other people and eating at home for once, but Ken always has an excuse.
I asked Ken how things were going between the two of them and he said he’s happy with everything and wants to ask her to move in together soon. When I asked him what they like to do for fun, he said they like to go out to eat all the time because it’s more convenient for them when they get out late. Ken also said they’ve started a ritual with a group of friends; every weekend they hang out at one of their apartments and listen to music, watch movies, play games and drink/eat.
Of course I told Abby what Ken told me and she was still set on being bored. She doesn’t want to move in with someone who doesn’t excite her.
Abby said she wants some spontaneity in her life or she’s thinking of leaving him.
I couldn’t help but wonder: How could someone be ready to end things with their partner just because they’re stuck in a lull?
According to Glamour, these ruts happen to every couple. The best way to get over them is to spend some time apart and try new things.
Spending time apart is a great way to break away from the constant sight of your partner. Go have lunch with your other friends or go to the movies by yourself. You’ve got to be independent. No one needs a man/woman to complete them. Plus with the time away, you will have more to talk about when y’all meet up again.
Perhaps you can plan a spontaneous road trip and visit Austin one weekend. Save your money and drive three hours to go kayaking and have a romantic getaway. If you don’t have the money or time to drive out of town, start a new activity together. While Corpus Christi isn’t known for being a bustling community with something new happening all the time, go bowling. Maybe hit up one of the many bingo places we have. You both could also go to a painting class where you’re allowed to drink there. Or if you want to take the cheap route, go to Hobby Lobby and buy some canvases and paint, pick up some wine and go home and paint with Bob Ross on Netflix.
I told Abby not to throw in the towel yet because Ken obviously cares for her. I also told Ken that maybe he needs to spruce things up and surprise her once in a while.
Recently they both realized they were off the same day and took a road trip to San Antonio. Their social media accounts were full of pictures and videos of them at the zoo, the Riverwalk and at Super Target.
While the alternatives might seem like a lot of work, it’s much better than being in a lifeless relationship that will never get better.