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Cheating is a choice, not a mistake

A friend of mine, “Julian,” recently got out of a relationship after his boyfriend, “Cameron,” found out he cheated on him.

Julian moved down here from San Antonio about three years ago and met Cameron at a local club.

The two hit it off right away and moved in together after dating for a year. They shacked up in an apartment and everything felt great.

Julian had never been in a serious relationship before Cameron. Most of the guys he dated were just to hook up with and then he would cut the cord, or they would distance themselves from him.

Cameron had been in a few serious relationships, but he felt that Julian was the one. They both enjoyed ’80s horror films, “The Golden Girls” and their love of industrial-metalcore music.

Julian confided in me that he cheated on Cameron during the beginning of the summer because he, and I quote, “has never felt like I deserved love so I figured if I cheated on him, he would realize I’m trash and leave me.”

After I slapped him on the back of his head, I told him that is a stupid excuse and he needed to tell Cameron right away and be honest.

I couldn’t help but wonder: Why do people cheat?

Yes, the question is vague, but why?

According to website The Conversation, cheaters use perceptive tricks to make them feel better about cheating. In short, people know cheating is wrong but still choose to do it. They then play down their infidelity by making up excuses like it’s not who they typically are, or they never felt like they deserved love so they figured they would cheat on their partner so they could realize they are trash and leave them.

After Cameron found out, he decided to try and work out their relationship. He was in love and didn’t want to throw everything away immediately.

This past month though, Cameron realized he could never trust Julian again and was constantly texting him to see where he was and who he was with.

Cameron told Julian he could still live in their apartment, but they had to set some boundaries: no sleeping together, no bringing guys home and no questioning each other on where they’re going.

Well, Cameron broke all those rules because he had Julian sleep with him multiple times, unless he brought home a guy and told Julian he had to sleep in the living room. Cameron also kept Julian on a short leash and set a curfew for him, otherwise he would lock the deadbolt.

Cameron had every right to do what he did. Julian cheated on him. Julian was the one who ruined their relationship.

He eventually moved back to San Antonio but started to trash talk Cameron on his social media outlets.

Cameron is now in a committed relationship with his new beau, “Adrian.”

Hopefully Julian realizes there is never an excuse to cheat when he starts his next relationship. Fingers crossed karma pays him a visit.

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