One of my good friends, “Nathan,” recently celebrated his boyfriend’s, “Samuel,” birthday, which ended up being a waste of time.
Samuel moved from his home state to live with Nathan over a year ago. It was a major culture shock for Samuel because he was used to four different seasons compared with humidity year-round and one week of cold weather.
Nathan decided to throw him a surprise birthday party at his parent’s house. He took Samuel to the movies and then took him shopping around Moore Plaza.
His friends and I went over to the house to help his parents with decorating and cooking.
Nathan texted us to say they were around the corner so most of us could hide to surprise him.
When they opened the door though, it was clear to everyone that Samuel had been crying. He immediately played it off, but we all knew something was up.
He was genuinely surprised and said he had to go the restroom to freshen up.
I pulled Nathan aside and asked him what was with the tears. He said Samuel thought they were going to Chili’s to eat dinner and then a bar, but Nathan told him they had to stop by his parents’ house to grab something.
Yes, he cried because they didn’t get baby back ribs.
My eyes rolled so far to the back of my head.
Nathan went to go check up on Samuel while the rest of us started eating and drinking.
Samuel came out and thanked everyone but stayed glued to his phone texting his other friends who weren’t there to meet him at a bar.
An hour into the party, Samuel told Nathan he was going to go to the bar because he thought that was the original idea and he would be back in two hours. Nathan said he didn’t care but told him he had to tell Nathan’s parents because the party was being thrown at their house.
I couldn’t help but wonder: How can someone be so ungrateful and selfish to walk out on their own surprise birthday party that their partner threw for them and put so much money, planning, time and effort to just have it all be thrown away?
According to website HerWay, one should confront their partner on their selfish ways by having them face the facts. Don’t talk about things in general but present them concrete evidence of how their behavior is ugly. They also suggest letting them know how you feel with their actions. Don’t attack them but let them know the pain and embarrassment they cause.
Once Samuel left, everyone else followed suit.
I called Nathan a few days later to ask what happened, and he had the nerve to tell me we should’ve put Samuel’s feelings into consideration because it’s his birthday and he should do what he wants.
OK, first of all I get it’s his birthday and many like to think the day revolves around them but drinking at one location where anyone can spend the night and not drive while intoxicated is much safer than driving downtown to get drunk.
Second, Nathan needs to stop being a pushover and see that he deserves better.
They just celebrated their one-year anniversary earlier this month, but I have a feeling this relationship won’t be around much longer.