A friend of mine, “Trevor,” recently got out of a toxic relationship.
He was the other man.
Trevor knew that the woman he was seeing, “Cassie,” had a boyfriend but his feelings got the best of him.
It all started when he was having car troubles and she offered to give him a ride to work. They both work together and she would always pick him up regardless if he asked or not.
After work one day, they decided to stop by a restaurant and grab something to eat. Jokingly, Trevor asked if they were on a date and Cassie agreed.
Next thing they knew, they were going at it like hormonal-raged teenagers in her backseat.
They didn’t say much at work for a week, until Trevor broke the ice and apologized for what happened.
Cassie said she should’ve apologized and then they both shared a kiss. They decided to start seeing each other behind her boyfriend’s back.
She would come up with excuses to hang out with Trevor and they would find hidden places at work to consummate their forbidden tryst.
After three months, Trevor’s guilt was drowning him. He asked Cassie to leave her boyfriend, but she said she was having fun and liked the attention. Trevor doesn’t have much of a spine, so he was too scared to end things with her.
I couldn’t help but wonder: How does someone knowingly become the other person in a relationship?
According to website YourTango, you’re not necessarily a bad person if you’re the other man/woman. It takes two to tango, so the person who is in the relationship is equally bad.
But if you are trying to get out, there are some tips. The most important one is to realize they are not worth the guilt and pain you are suffering with. Say they break up with their significant other…who says they won’t do the same thing to you down the road?
Trevor ended things with Cassie after several of his friends, including myself, told him to gain some confidence and finish it. They still work together, but don’t speak to each other.
Once his lease is up though, Trevor actually plans to move out of town and possibly out of state. He wants a fresh start.
While that seems a bit dramatic, I’m happy he grew a spine and is in a good mindset.